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Tinyheart's Plight
Author: Wolfsam Below is just text from the Rp, this is a sample currently. Each second that passed felt like a wildfire in Tinyheart's chest. He was finally confronting his father after all this time. Was it was satisfying as he imagined it? No. Not at all. In fact, this whole talk left his body aching and his feelings stray in different directions all at once. Why was this not like he imagined it? The tabby warrior wanted Hazelstar to know all he did, and even after spilling the truth, it felt like his father would never truly understand the damage he had caused upon him. This was one of the many reasons Tinyheart wanted..no, needed to leave. Hazelstar brought out the worst in him. Eveery waking moment he tried to convince himself he was reformed, that he was loyal to ThunderClan, he'd see Hazelstar's face. His father's face alone was enough to resurface all the horrid thoughts and feelings of the rogue invasion. All the trauma of being abandoned, mistreated, neglected and wronged. Every. Single. Time. Was that not enough reason to leave? It would be enough to drive him mad! Tinyheart, deep down was a good cat. Or, at least thats what he would try to convince himself. How would he ever redeem himself if the reason he acted out exists beside him every single sunrise? When Tinyheart was just a kitten, he wondered why he was brought to this clan. As far as he knew, he was simply found on ThunderClan's grounds and given to one of the nursing queens. Back then, he was thankful, yet scared if such a group of cats would later reject him for not being native to their clan. If only his worries had stayed that way. No, it got much worse. The day he found out he was a half-clan cat was the day he'd forever remember. Hazelbreeze asked if Tinypaw would accompany him on a walk. He was skeptical, but joined. What apprentice wouldn't take up an excuse to leave the camp? How mousebrained of him to agree. Hazelbreeze lead him to the riverbank, where he met his sister, Frostpaw, and...Cloudstar. He learned that was his mother. He was confused, excited and worried all at the same time. All of his worries of not being clan born were washed away. But the tides always return to the shore. Feelings of misplacement, being different, not belonging replaced those once small feelings of worry. Why was he in ThunderClan? The only kin he had there was Hazlebreeze. What about his siblings? Frostpaw and Breezepaw? He longed to meet them and play with them. Instead he was stuck in ThunderClan, where Blazepaw would bully him and the other apprentices looked on. It wasn't all bad at first, or maybe it was simply because Tinypaw was blind to the trouble his parent's decision would soon cause. Since Hazelbreeze was his only kin, and his father, he found himself trying to gain his attention. Trying to hang out with him or show affection. Most of the time, Hazelbreeze was too busy with his deputy activities or trying not to seem suspicious around the apprentice. Besides, no other clan member knew they were related. If they did, Hazelbreeze would have lost his rank. Though it hurt, Tinypaw kept his father's secret. At the time, he cared about what happened to Hazelbreeze. How foolish he was. Because Hazelbreeze only wanted to save his own skin...he let his son raise himself in a clan with no kin. No cat to turn to. No friend to rely on. It was all the fault of his father. The apprentice soon grew bitter and cold, cursing all the apprentices and slacking on his duties. The only cat he would ever find comfort in was Gorsemoon. That didn't last, did it? After he became a warrior, more insecurities would arise. His body failed to grow into the strong cat he thought he would become. His mind flashed back to the time he met Cloudstar and he understood why. That she-cat had cursed him with a small frame. Thorns pricked his heat as he remembered feeling insignificant, weak, less then a warrior...All because he lacked the blood that made him a loyal ThunderClan warrior from the beginning. And a body that matched him with the RiverClan leader, often viewed as weak and fragile. It was then his nature began to turn bitter and colder then it ever was. Resentment, hatred, self-loathing, and dare he admit his jealousy. He even found himself glaring at his best friend, Gorsemoon. Envious of his strong figure and his lack of trouble when fitting into ThunderClan. Every cat that passed him by would be greeted with a glare, or a hiss. This was certainly evidant when seeing Smokepath. He was such a skilled and loyal warrior, ever since he was an apprentice, it left Tinyheart feeling hatred for the tom that had everything. If only he was born in such a way. Smokepath had nothing to worry about, and everything going for him...it sickened Tinyheart to his core. Who was to blame for all this? For all his insecurities, self hatred, jealousy, envy, and his cursed blood? Tinyheart often found himself glaring at his father during these times of struggle. The cat who pushed him away to attend to his own duties, the cat who agreed to take him in, yet didn't take care of him. The cat who was the very reason he was born, living with blood that burned him from the inside! He was sick of it all! Sick sick sick sick! SICK OF EXISTING because two cats decided to break the warrior code! SICK THAT HE WAS THE RESULT OF A BROKEN CODE. That was when Ripplesong noticed his cold nature. She nurtured him, offered advice, as bad as it may have been, he listened. Admittedly he stopped hanging out with Gorsemoon to peruse time with her. Ripplesong, as bad as she was, was the first cat besides Gorsemoon to voluntarily listen to his troubles and hang out with him. The first cat to...act like a parent, to him. It only worsened his hate for his father even more. He wished he had this growing up. He wished Ripplesong was his mother. But after the rogue invasion he had to face the cold hard truth. She wasn't. Nor was she trying to help him...she was using him. Ripplesong was using him for her own selfish gain. He was sure if the invasion went on for much longer, she would reveal those feelings to him. Even after all of that..even so..he craved for her to come back. He wanted to see her again and hang out with her. No matter if she was pretending or not...he would pretend it was real. He wished it was real.. Tinyheart, now back into the den with Hazelstar, only huffed. As his father attempted to push his nose against him, The warrior flinched, backing away with a flare in his eyes. Even as he listened to his father's emotional speech, he felt nothing. Sorry doesn't catch any prey, now does it? He wanted to retort every message sorrow and regret that his father dare spit out at him, but he would not. Instead, he would only turn to the exit of the den, tail thrashing about. From this moment on, he would not step foot on ThunderClan no more. Hazelstar, to him, was no longer a father. Now, he was a clan leader. No matter how many times Hazelstar would inist the love for him was real, he would forever deny it. With a final glance the tabby warrior hissed. "..I'm not your son." With that, he was outside of the den, tail trailing behind him as he made his way to the clan exit. Credits Cats mentioned in this story, along with their respective owners: Tinyheart Belongs to Wolfsam Hazelstar Currently has no Owner Cloudstar Belongs to Clouder Ripplesong Belongs to WolfSam and Lenny Frostfall Belongs to Englam Breezetalon Belongs to Englam Gorsemoon Belongs to HyenaCategory:Side Story